numb

so much things happened recently
until i feel numb abt everything
things just happen unexpectedly
without any notices
without any concerns

i'm afraid to call back home
i'm afraid to answer overseas calls
i'm afraid to receive overseas sms
i'm afraid to receive messages from someone i know so well
i'm afraid to receive bad news
i'm afraid to face the real life in this real world

now i feel that everything is just nothing
and nothing, is actually everything i have

i know all of these are part of life
i know i can't avoid all of these
i love my family
i love my friends
but
i wish i can escape

but how
no one knows

is there any places i can hide from disasters forever???

inconclusive life.

life goes on, with the numbness